That Coffee!

Hurry up, Coffee!

Need more coffee!

Cat has had enough of this quarantine/shelter-in-place shit.

Cat is gettin' upset! Well, Buddy, unless you can operate a can opener, you will submit to some détente...

Cat haz safe landing.

A close call...

Over Sized Sherpa Hoodie. Yeah, but it's no Yanket.

Yahoo: This cozy oversized sherpa hoodie is like wearing a blanket — 'I love it, my dog loves it, my friends are envious'. (Friends envious of a wearable blanket? That seems an overly-enthusiastic endorsement - DD).

Ever dreamed of wearing your favorite blanket out of the house as you ran your errands for the day?

Call it silly or call it life-changing, but the Blanket Sweatshirt combines all our favorite things about a cozy blanket and transforms it into an oversized, shockingly soft hoodie.
[.]
The Blanket Sweatshirt comes oversized and snuggly, plus it even has a giant pocket at the front to keep your hands warm (or to house all the snacks).
[.]
You can wear it to walk the dog, get the mail, or even a grocery run.

Uh - no, I've never dreamed of wearing a blanket while on errands or in public. I don't wear them around the house, for that matter.

Life-changing? Let's hope not.

Although the Sherpa Hoodie seems like the appropriate go-to attire for both Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders for their next debate, with each wearing one of those red and white sleeping caps.

Still...The Sherpa Hoodie is no Yanket. Then again, what is...

-

Yahoo Sherpa Hoodie Archived

Where TF is this magic Weather station?

It's still wrong. Or, 75 is much cooler than I remember.

The above result is from a search on Duckduckgo using, "weather 55101", the general zip code for St. Paul.

I guess the AC is going on tonight!

Something tells me this is incorrect.

But who am I to argue with experts in the meteorological sciences.

New York Times changes headline again. (Satire)

Breitbart: New York Times' Changes Trump Headline to Appease Far Left:

The far-left New York Times caved to the leftist Twitter mob with a major switch in headlines between its first and second editions.

The first print edition’s headline read, “Trump Urges Unity Vs. Racism.”

But after the Blue Checkmark Mafia freaked out, the Times caved with a late edition headline that reads, “Assailing Hate But Not Guns.”

Liberals...Outraged and Triggered by their own newspaper gospel.  Oh, that but unironically; The Left Eats Their Own.

The First Headline:

The Second Headline: 

The Most Recent Headline: 

Clauvino da Silva, seasoned criminal, fails prison escape. Wore teenage daughter’s clothes, long wig, and a silicon mask.

Drug trafficker Clauvino da Silva, 42

RT: Convicted drug trafficker ‘dolls up’ to pass for his daughter in daring prison break.

Clauvino da Silva, 42, was stopped by the guards of Gericino Penitentiary Complex in western Rio de Janeiro as he was about to leave the facility through the front door dressed as a woman. The inspectors almost fell for the trick, but grew suspicious of the “girl” who was acting nervously at the last moment.

They were in for a bigger surprise when they discovered that the supposed girl, dressed in a pair of blue jeans, a pink T-shirt, a grey blazer, and white sandals, was not a girl at all, but her gangster father.
[.]
Police are now looking into whether the teenager, who, per Silva’s plan, was to stay in his cell instead of him, was an accomplice in the plot.

Baby Shark Cereal.

This was only a matter of time, but I am Super Cereal-surprised it took this long.

-

KPAX story Archived

Joe Biden up 11 points in polls by not being in tonight's debate.

An immediate polling of the 2020 Democrat Presidential candidate's debate tonight showed that by not being in the debate, Joe Biden's polling numbers went up 11 percent. Due to the number of primary candidates, Biden is scheduled for Wednesday night's debate.

The Van Cleef-Peckinpah Polling firm, based in Armister, Maryland, polled a group of 3,146 random potential voters for the 2020 election. The group included all party affiliations, ages 18-54, and they were polled by cell phones, landlines, texting, other electronic methods and by personal, in-home sauna visits. The results had Biden up by 11% over all other Democrat rivals and over President Donald Trump.

"This is an impressive move for Biden," said Freyler Macintosh, Executive Vice President of Van Cleef-Peckinpah. He indicated Biden could perhaps double his lead by not appearing in Wednesday night's candidate debate.

Reached by phone, the news agency Tass reported that when asked about the new poll developments, Biden replied, "Is this good news then? Right?"

Biden's campaign team is continuing to analyze this polling data and if Biden can maintain and continue this upward trend.

Ocasio-Cortez Solves Another Vexing Puzzle. Claims Pelosi tasking her with busywork.

Grabien News: Cortez claims Nancy Pelosi gives her busywork to keep her out of spotlight.

"...my hands are full. And sometimes I wonder if they’re trying to keep me busy," [said the JUNIOR DEM Rep from  NY].

 

Cortez's previously solved puzzle...

...and her explanation of the solved puzzle. 

She now pretends "big peoples'"  job. 

Although, she discovered that portal to another dimension.  For which she could be awarded a Nobel Prize.

Jeb Bush Tweet of the Week (Fake/Satire)

Cher falls for fake news. Tweets satire as real; a dig at Trump.

The Widow Bono Cher Tweets:

It is a story.

The story appears at a site called Reductress. Read it, it's funny.

What is Reductress? This is Reductress.

The Widow Bono Cher didn't bother to check if the story was accurate. How long did it take me to search Reductress and find out it's a satire site? Maybe two seconds. 

Why would The Widow Bono Cher Tweet this? She assumed it was true and, I'm guessing, The Widow Bono's Cher's motive behind her Tweet is that this (fictional) woman died because of the cost of insulin and that, of course, is the fault of President Donald Trump.

CBS News: Price of insulin more than doubled over five years.

By Aimee Picchi
January 22, 2019 / 11:08 AM / MoneyWatch
[.]
"In 2012, a vial of Humalog insulin was priced at $130. By 2016, the same vial was priced at $255. Coincidentally, during that time patients' costs for insulin also doubled ", [wrote attorney and Type 1 diabetic Laura Marston on Twitter, in response to the report.]

During 2012 to 2016 the person in the White House was acting President Barack Obama. The Widow Bono Cher must not remember this. None of us are getting any younger, I guess. 'Membering is hard.

How many read her Tweet, maybe clicked on the link, glanced at the Reductress story and believed it? And then they passed it onto others, who also believed it true, because, "The Widow Bono Cher Tweeted it,"? How could anyone read the Reducturess story and believe it? It's so over-the-top. Someone said, never overestimate the intelligence of a Liberal.

The Widow Bono Cher PWND by Fake News; rather, satire. Isn't she one of the Vocal Left who decries 'Fake News' that is anything supportive of President Trump?

There was that one time where she said "'L.A. is my city'," and it can't take care of any more immigrants.

I wonder if this item was a big seller? Via Pinterest (Vintage Toys)

Bakery denies serving stingy sandwich.

Newshub: Papakura Bakery denies it served 'stingy' $3.50 sandwich.

An Auckland bakery is denying it served what's been called one of the stingiest sandwiches of all time, a picture of which caused the internet to go berserk.

The Papakura Bakery made headlines after a photo of the sandwich was posted in the Papakura and Takanini Grapevine private Facebook group. The photo showed the sandwich, allegedly purchased from the bakery, containing two measly slivers of meat.
[.]
The bakery strongly denies the sandwich was purchased from them, however.

Legit? Stunt for hits on FB? If this is an actual samich from a bakery that's been in business a while, as it has, one tends to think this would have surfaced earlier. Color me skeptical. 

You know you want to buy one.

The Hillary Chair.

SpongeBob mobbed by Kids!

Why attack SpongeBob?

Buckle up, buckaroo!

Bad driving. South Park: Buckle up, buckaroo!

I've been waiting for this.

And no pen or pencil.

Mueller says with certainty...he will return to private life.

Washington Examiner: Mueller says he is resigning from DOJ; returning to private life. Other words more ambiguous.

"...if we had had confidence that the president clearly did not commit a crime we would have said so."

He threw some Red Meat to the Liberal Impeachment Chorus. Expect a new level of Triggered.

"We chose those words carefully and the work speaks for itself and the report is my testimony. "

448 pages of carefully chosen words.

Tweet from President Donald Trump:

Big Jerry gonna keep on rolling:

The Independent: Mueller just told the world Trump is a criminal. Now Congress must impeach him.

It's the subtext. Rather, what Mueller didn't say is what he really said.
- - -
UPDATE - Breitbart: John Brennan, "the cry for impeachment will increase."

Wednesday on MSNBC, former CIA director John Brennan predicted special counsel Robert Mueller’s statement on his Russia probe would increase the “cry for impeachment.”

Brennen said, “I think Bob Mueller’s public statement today is going to give momentum to those who want to move forward with impeachment hearings. I think there can be no doubt about Mr. Mueller’s message that the obstruction of justice issue is not resolved, and that there needs to be follow-up action on it.”

Brennan...he's up to his eyes in his own barrel of...crap.

More global warming alarmism; U.S. cities and landmarks COULD be underwater...by 2100.

(Big sigh...)

Business Insider: Disturbing before-and-after photos show how US cities — and their famous landmarks — could be underwater in 80 years.

A few years ago, the UN's Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change predicted that the world's sea levels would rise an additional 3 feet by 2100. But earlier this week, a study in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences more than doubled this worst-case estimate, predicting that sea levels could rise by around 6.5 feet in the same time frame.

For coastal cities like New York and San Francisco, this spells bad news for low-lying waterfront neighborhoods — and the many landmarks within them.

Climate Central's Google Earth plug-in shows what US cities would look like in the most extreme cases of sea-level rise.

And we know we can completely Trust in the accuracy of Teh Googel, right?

Statue of Liberty - current.

 Statue of Liberty - underwater.

 Palm Beach, FL - current

 Palm Beach, FL - underwater

PROS: 

Significant reduction in street vehicles and pedestrian traffic!

More places accessible by boats! More boating! Yay!

Long drives to the beaches eliminated!

Home-to-work commute by water-sking!

Fishing easily available almost everywhere!

Can play "Waterworld" for real!
Reductions in home and business fires!
Porpoise Lassoing finally legalized and recognized as a sport!
Fun times at High Tide!
Finally a reality to living under the sea.
Ski-jetting everywhere!
Big decrease of lawns to mow and maintain.
Good deterrent to Zombie attacks.
More Hydroponic alternatives.
Fewer seasonal allergies.

CONS:
Extra water.
Possible increased risk of Cthulhus.

Did I miss any?