Showing posts with label covfefe. Show all posts
Showing posts with label covfefe. Show all posts

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Menacing, Ominous "Baby Hillary Blimps" are appearing all over the world, terrifying onlookers.

Appearance of "out-of-the-blue" threatening and ominous Baby Hillary Blimps are appearing all over the world terrifying onlookers.

From The Eritas County Ledger International Edition:
From populated cities such as London, New York and Tokyo to remote areas such as the Grand Canyon and Area 51, giant, ominous, terrifying Baby Hillary Blimps have been spotted around the world. No one knows when or how they appeared.
"There it was, in the blink of an eye," said London resident Scotwood Havershaam on Wednesday afternoon. I was out on me midday stroll and this huge shadow falls over me and I glance up and there's this enormous Baby Hillary Blimp wearing a diaper on its bum with 'Hillary 2020'. I thought we was being attacked."
The UK Ministry of Defence was flooded with calls from panicked and frightened people fearing the apocalypse had begun. "We are asking people to remain calm and be cautious, until we know more.  Know that authorities are on full alert," according to UK Undersecretary of Security Yorral Dunnisenn.
Baby Hillary Blimps have appeared at various times over the past 24 hours all around the world. No one seems to know how, why, or when the exact time of these sightings began.
Former Democrat presidential candidate and former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, reached by telephone, replied, "it's obvious a Trump-Putin Pys Ops hologram designed to make me appear as some maniacal, crazed blimp." Her husband, former U.S. President Bill Clinton could be heard from the background saying, "you got that right," just before the phone call mysteriously ended. Attempts to reach the Clintons since then have been unsuccessful.
Sttevnn Andrrrsnn, of Calgary, was traveling back home on Canadian Air Flight EH9 after a vacation that included sight-seeing trips to the Grand Canyon. He spotted the Baby Hillary Blimp from the window of his plane. "Couldn't say how long it was there, it all happened so fast. I took some pictures with my phone and then the blimp vanished."
Others from around the globe have posted pictures of the Baby Hillary Blimp on their social media pages. The Baby Hillary Blimp has been seen in Washington DC (above), Area 51, the Kremlin, Tokyo, Chicago and New York City.
A high-ranking Pentagon official who spoke only on condition of anonymity said, "if Area 51 exists, and I'm not saying it does or doesn't, but if it does, there have been either no reports of a Baby Hillary Blimp appearing, or reports of a Baby Hillary Blimp appearing somewhere that doesn't exist are inaccurate and the product of someones overactive and wild imagination."
The dooms day clock advanced one minute closer to midnight after Russian Military Commander Sergei Novikinov said, "this unprecedented attack on Soviet air-space is considered a hostile act of aggression and a direct threat to our national security and we will respond with the appropriate force and action."
Traffic came to a standstill all around the Chicago metro area on Wednesday afternoon when the Baby Hillary Blimp floated above the city for over four hours.
"It kept drifting back and forth and up and down," said Chloe Masterson, one of hundreds of people waiting in line to hop onto the Loop. "Children were screaming, 'we scared, we scared', and we all tried to take shelter under something. It was the most insidious things I've ever seen."
Residents in downtown Tokyo ran and took cover in stores, under awnings, anywhere they could. The Tokyo appearance of the Baby Hillary Blimp lasted for six hours, bringing the city to a stand-still.
International, national and local law enforcement agencies urge caution and advise people not to approach the Baby Hillary Blimp. The Baby Hillary Blimp should be considered dangerous, and presumed armed until proven otherwise. Take no action on your own and instead contact your local law enforcement agency, said Adjunct Commander of INTERPOL Lord Calvert Sinclair.
The only comment from the Trump Administration was a tweet from President Donald Trump: "Blimp huh? Busy. ESPN & cartoon net. Need DietCovfefe."

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Liberals blame Trump for world not ending on September 23, 2017.

Abundant internet and media stories covered the prediction that Saturday, the 23rd, would be "Doomsday." David Meade recently renewed interest in this theory.  The Sun:
Conspiracies about the mysterious planet named Nibiru, [also known as Planet X],  suggest it could be headed towards Earth to destroy it on September 23.
[.]
[David] Meade buys into the idea that a 2,000-year-old prophecy, which was described in the book of Revelation, will cause an apocalypse.
The world didn't end on Saturday and several Liberal organizations, politicians, scholars and scientists from around the world are blaming President Donald Trump.

The Eritas County Ledger:
UK Prime Minister Theresa May directed her ire at a Trump Twitter Tweet about Planet X. "His Planet X tweet was not helpful, it was not appreciated. This is what happens when America elects an Imperialist," said May.

"We're pissed," said Kuamthra Zdgit-Kvortkllor, a Berkeley professor of Eschatology.

"It's that damn Trump. He's the one who stopped this much needed destruction of the Earth," said Zdgit-Kvortkllor. He also blamed the failure of the collision on, "The collective arrogance of skeptics, Republicans, Tea Party'ers [sic], people who actually think for themselves and that Trivago guy.  We were on our way to destroying our filthy, over-populated, disgusting, putrid world. That it didn't happen is devastating."

Theresa May

French President Emmanuel Macron commented, "How can Socialism be expected to thrive and prosper unless our loathsome and repugnant planet is completely eliminated from the solar system?"

The Southern Poverty Law Center blamed Trump, but also lashed out at Planet X. Howard Stuff, Director of Communications at the SPLC said, "see - had the planetary collision taken place, world poverty and  hunger would have been eliminated on Saturday. Due to Nibiru's failure to deliver devastation as promised, the SPLC has placed Planet X at the top of our Hate List."

Vermont U.S. Senator and 2016 Democrat presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, told reporters, "I tell ya, the world not ending on Saturday is the worst thing ever that could happen. Ever, I tell ya. Ever! Everything would have been great had planet Nurimbuyov...Nurumumburu...Nommerbimmer...whatever the hell it's called, smashed right into us. That would've solved everything, I tell ya.  But because the Russians hacked our election and Trump is in the White House, our damn planet is still here. It's a conspiracy between Trump and that Russian guy, Vladamir Butrin. Butrin? Huh? Butrin? I think that's the guy."

Bernie Sanders on Nibiru, Planet X

John Kasich, 2016 presidential candidate and Governor of Ohio, was the lone voice within the Republican party blaming Trump for  stopping Planet X.  "I'm the Governor of Ohio, but had I been elected president, I would have made sure that Planet X pummeled our planet into dust. If I was the president, instead of being Governor of Ohio, I would have directed NASA to steer earth right into a collision course with Planet X." he said. Kasich continued, "speaking as a regular guy, who is also the the Governor of Ohio, all I can add is that we will continue suffering through life on earth because of that guy in the White House. Being the Governor of Ohio, the most I could do is direct the Ohio National Guard to do all they could to move Ohio into the path of Planet X and, being the Governor of Ohio, I did just that. But it  was unsuccessful and I say this on the record as the Governor of Ohio."

President Trump's Controversial Planet X tweet.

"There is still hope our planet will be destroyed soon," said astrophysicist Klarv Ernstschmidt of the Institute For the Advancement of Interplanetary Destruction headquartered in Baden-Baden, Germany. "Right behind the path of Planet X is Planet Y. We are almost certain Planet Y is on a direct collision course with earth and the catastrophic impact will occur next Saturday. So get ready to kiss your ass good-bye on September 30th."