Saturday, April 11, 2020

Who will be breaking the law on Easter? Be Rebellious!

We are breaking so many Covid-19 laws, ordinances and regulations tomorrow. Somewhere, in an undisclosed, semi-rural area southwest of the Twin Cities - or is that northeast? (feel free to track us, Google) - about 40 of us will be getting together for the day. This was planned over a month ago and we're going ahead with it.

There are a few, newer caveats implemented. Everyone agreed that anyone not feeling well, no matter how slight, won't attend.

A decontamination station will be at the home entrance, with hot soap and water, disinfectant, sanitizer, Clorox wipes (yes, someone actually scored some of those!), thermal temperature scans for the kiddies, three big kick-ass RAM extended-cabs will be blocking off the private driveway and me and two of my nephews will be guarding the gate with our AR-15s and other various firearms, including revolvers that we're likely to frequently twirl on our index fingers like cowboys.

Cousin Cletus is our designated sniper. He's also responsible for supplying the Tupperware of Spleef and in his possession at all times, he holds the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.

This is the first time in my memory that restaurants won't be open for Easter buffets. An impact that is all too painfully harsh both economically and socially.

That places of worship are closed is truly sad. I've heard in the news some are holding services while people remain in their cars in the parking lot and I think that's an acceptable workaround - considering the circumstances - rather than indoor mass.

What are your plans for Easter? Family gathering? Small or reduced number of guests from past years? Isolation? Going on a cruise, maybe?

Will you be Breaking The Law?


All parties mutually agreed in canceling the running-chainsaw and cleaver-juggling contests, but that's more due to the weather forecast than fear of Coronavirus.

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